a call to anguish- David Wilkerson

Someone I know had this on their facebook wall and it kind of convicted/moved me. I thought i would share this with you since she shared it with me.

musterdseed faith.

I've been running around lately. Trying to get this done that faxed off this applyed for that mailed in this paid for that painted and so on.All these things are overwhelming sometimes. I look at this huge heep of things I have to do and I just want to give up. It seems like there is always fore and i can never get ahead. Ever felt like this?

As many of you know I will be moving away to bible college. I am pretty pumped for this but there are a ton of things that i have to finish before hand. It seems impossible it really does. But on sunday morning in church a lady shared her testamony about how God took her impossible sitsuation and made it happen. There were certian things in her testimony that made me tear up and want to cry. Not cause i felt bad or sad for her, but for two reasons. The first was how i need to trust God and let him be the captin of my ship. The second was me noticing what God did in her life and comparing it to what he is going to do in my life. If he could take her sitsuation and make it possible he could take mine and do the same.

I got accepted for a student loan. I didn't think i would. I got that e-mail in the morning and was happy all day because it was going to cover all of my schooling plus some. Later that day i received a phone call saying i had a 700$ bill in collections and if i didn't pay it by the 20h they were going to ding my credit.... uh oh. so i asked my boss how much my next pay cheque is going to be.... 300$ (gotta love taking time off for camp) this will cover almost half of that bill. So now i start to stress out. i need another 400 or i am going to have bad credit. Am i worried right now? no cause i have to trust in God. He is my provider. My shelter.

For awhile i felt oh God why me woa is me blah blah blah. But after a talk with my neighbor (without knowing anything about any of my situations, other then I'm moving) she started to speak about how when we think woa is me why me God there could be a few different reasons.

1- God retaliating on your disobedience

2.- God preparing you for something you may face in the future (wether it be a testimony that saves someone or a bigger situation where you have to use what you have learnt)

3- God trying to help you trust him

So throughout the next 2.5 weeks I have a ton of stuff to do and i need to trust and have faith in God to be able to accomplish these things.

Faith is belief in something you can't physically trust

Fireworks

I had a conversation with a friend today. We talked about school in september and where life was going and where it has been. This made me realize I am about to take one of the biggest steps in my life. something that in the last 314 days i have been preparing for. Some may think oh it is just collage, it's not that big of a deal..... Well there is more on the plate then education.... My whole future depends on this september. i am going to be taking a youth ministry program but before i am taking omega.

I made this test that asked how well do you know James. One question was what do I want to do with my life? Two of the answers were A0 music producer or B) a youth pastor. Almost everyone picked music producer. I figure this is for one of two reasons. i hide my faith and choices in life. or they cant ever see me being a youth pastor. Some people know my dream in life and most don't

My dram is to become a youth pastor. I want a youth group that is grounded in faith. I don't want them to hide it, like i have. I also (on the side) start a record label. I want to record under privileged kids who have alot of talent but no way to show the world. I'll help them get their name out there and maybe even get record deals. I want to do tours with the youth that want to make music their career. i want my youth group to hold conferences of thousands. Most of all i want God to be in it all or it means nothing.

To follow God it will cost you one thing. Everything.....

I've put off collage for 3 years and the best way to describe the reason for this was by Edgar Alfaro, It wasn't time yet. I'm glad i didn't go then cause i needed to really realize that it's not just my plan...... I realize that my faith (up to this point) was built of what everyone else thinks. Don't get me wrong it is not bad to know what everyone else thinks but don't build your faith of what your told. dig in and discover it for yourself.



-James Berkey.