okay lets get deep
like the oceans world core
space too earth
like a mother giving her first birth
the childs first breath
a mans death
mother cried
heaven were the mans soul servives
I reacentlly had lunch with a good friend of mine. We talked about life and how thats going. Eventually we got too talking about God and whats he has done for me or how i was doing with God. I told him honestly that I wasn't sure about God and me. I told him that i have been looking for answeres that would prove a God (even though i know there isn't any). I feel like my religion was someone eleses. I mean we go off what other people say. Religion in a scence is what your "mentor"/"pastor" told you about god. I was really destracted that I didn't know what to belive. I beleived somthing someone told me and they leart what someone told them. But what if somewere down that line someone was wrong and totally twisted the actual meaning of being a christian. I never really told my friend I had luch with of what i thought (you know the thought of someone eleses thought). But he plainly said i had too find my own beleife. I was shocked when he said that. He also said that he has also seen God do amazing thing in my life amd asked what he is doing now. I said too him that I felt he wasn't doing anything. But now that I look back I relise he is allowing me to breath, live, love. I have clothes i have a place too stay, friends family people who love me. My friend was a little bit troubled that in my last post i didn't mention God. He asked why and i couldn't answere. I was amazed that i didn't.
I geuss now i am tring to find my own if that makes scence.
it is amazing what a simple wendy's lunch with a friend will make you relise.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Truth be told.....
I come from a city thats broken. Were people forget too help out, Were people don't care.
I was born in Edmonton, Alberta. I was born into a beautiful single mothers life on a snowy december 12 1988. Unfortetally my "Father" decided too peace out when he found out my mother was pregnant.
I moved too Nanaimo at the age of four. I got into kindergarten while my mother got a job at a hospital as an LPN. My mom worked grave yard shifts at the hospital. Witch ment i would go too school while she was sleeping. I would come home while she was at work. She would come home while i was sleeping. This went on for years. I bassically never saw her. My brother and sister would always take care of me. Cook me food, take me too school, put me too bed. I grew up with no father, Until my mother met this guy. This guy was new too me. I remember one time i went into my mothers room were he had spent the night. I jumped onto the bed and asked him if he was my dad. At one point my mom couldn't afford grocries so this guy sold his nice car too buy us kids food.
Eventually this guy asked too marrie my mother. We moved out of this ghetto house and moved to the north end on rutheford RD. We had a big proporty and a nice house(renting).
The first time i got introuble at school was in grade 3. This girl said i was swearing at her on the playground but i never did. In reality i was with my sister getting ready too go home for the day. The princeaple didn't belive me when i told him i never did it. He gave me trouble saying he might kick me out and that i was a bad child. Witch drove me too tears.
When we lived in the north end we only lived there for a year because our tires got slashed 14 times our dog got shot and killed and just was over all around worse then harewood. So we moved too jinglepot area. I went too mountin veiw. and always got introuble. I fought and back talked alot. I remember i got kicked off the bus for school cause i was being bad. at the sme time i got an in school suspention. The class i was suspended in went too the playground so i went too. i smashed my head and bled everywere. Without telling the teacher i took off too the office. They never really helped out i mean i was saposed too walk home that day and that was a good hour walk. The bell rang and the bus came. I asked if i could take the bus cause they didn't call my mom too come get me or call anyone. (remember i had a pool of blood on the office floor) the went and asked the bus driver and contimplated letting me go on the bus. Fifteen minutes later they let me on. From the bus stop i stumbled home were my mom was on her day off. So we went too go get stitches.
We moved again when i was going into grade seven. I was back in harewood were in grade seven i got 63 referls in one year (thats were you fight you get one swear 5 time you get one ext.) i got 63. got kicked out of my grade seven grad ceromoney so i broke all the school windows while they partied in the gym.
In grade eight i got into alot of fights and started smoking. Seemed like a good thing too do at the time. I started too sell weed aswell. first semester goes buy and i got kicked out befor second semester started. I went too five acers. Were i finished grade 8,9,10 i got kicked out of five acers five or six times i fought alot sold alot of drugs in grade 9 my mom's husband adopted me and i finally had a legit father. I eventually stopped selling and doing dumb crap. I got back into barsby and met a girl. i dated this girl till i graduated highschool. In the summer of grade 11 too 12 my mom moved too fort st john. I moved into this girls house. Eventually i got sick of having a girlfriend i mean i dated her for 2.5 years up too this point. I wanted out of the relashinship but i need a place too live in nanaimo so i stayed with her. This one time i mouthed off her uncle and a couple months later he was in nanaimo and slapped me around then punched me. Thats when i knew i was moving too fort st john to be with my mom. I also had a group of friend threaten too kill this uncle. Not just threaten but mean it all i had too say was ok. Eventually he called and said sorry too me.
Eventually i moved too fort st john. I got a job and lived with mom. i had no friends no family (but mom and dad) no girlfriend. In my eyes i was free from the thing that entagled my vary way of living. I always procrastanated on when i was moving home. the girl i was dating got mad that i didn't come back on her scheduale so she broke up with me. I never was hurt by her action or even cared. In my eyes we broke up as soon as her uncle hit me way back in the day.
I met some people from work and started hanging out with them and they drank alot witch in turn made me want too fit in with my new friends. So i began drinking heavely. I would say 4-5 nights a week. I also began smoking a pak aday.I looked at this girls profile on the internet and it said she hated drinking and smokers. I liked this girl so i decided i would quit. My mom and dad decided too move back too nanaimo and i moved into the friends house. I went on vacation and went down with my mom and dad (too nanaimo). I met up with this girl and asked her on a date. Every day i was in nanaimo on vacation for that week and a bit i spent it with her. I asked her out with her knowing i was going back up north. She said yes and i told her my plan. I told her i will be back in one month. she never knew i was going too move back so soon. I applyed at kia nanaimo and i got a job so i moved back even sooner.
This is were i am now. Quit kia and now work for college pro. i am still with this girl and things are going great!!!
Acouple things you should know bout me
i got into alot of fights
i sold drug
stole cars
broke into houses
almost killed someone
moved too fort st john
became an alchaholic
started too smoke
fought alout in FSJ
have had a screwed up life
feel like i am someone new now
i come from a city thats broken
were people abort shipand live life for that single thing that they think is "hip"
but their hearts fall apart
like a lepper on a tred-mill
their minds change more then piggy banks
never hitting the brain breaks
they do what is cool
people want too fix the problem
but time has got them
they don't got the timewe can all talk
till we find ourselfs laying on the pavement
but
i come from a city thats broken
I was born in Edmonton, Alberta. I was born into a beautiful single mothers life on a snowy december 12 1988. Unfortetally my "Father" decided too peace out when he found out my mother was pregnant.
I moved too Nanaimo at the age of four. I got into kindergarten while my mother got a job at a hospital as an LPN. My mom worked grave yard shifts at the hospital. Witch ment i would go too school while she was sleeping. I would come home while she was at work. She would come home while i was sleeping. This went on for years. I bassically never saw her. My brother and sister would always take care of me. Cook me food, take me too school, put me too bed. I grew up with no father, Until my mother met this guy. This guy was new too me. I remember one time i went into my mothers room were he had spent the night. I jumped onto the bed and asked him if he was my dad. At one point my mom couldn't afford grocries so this guy sold his nice car too buy us kids food.
Eventually this guy asked too marrie my mother. We moved out of this ghetto house and moved to the north end on rutheford RD. We had a big proporty and a nice house(renting).
The first time i got introuble at school was in grade 3. This girl said i was swearing at her on the playground but i never did. In reality i was with my sister getting ready too go home for the day. The princeaple didn't belive me when i told him i never did it. He gave me trouble saying he might kick me out and that i was a bad child. Witch drove me too tears.
When we lived in the north end we only lived there for a year because our tires got slashed 14 times our dog got shot and killed and just was over all around worse then harewood. So we moved too jinglepot area. I went too mountin veiw. and always got introuble. I fought and back talked alot. I remember i got kicked off the bus for school cause i was being bad. at the sme time i got an in school suspention. The class i was suspended in went too the playground so i went too. i smashed my head and bled everywere. Without telling the teacher i took off too the office. They never really helped out i mean i was saposed too walk home that day and that was a good hour walk. The bell rang and the bus came. I asked if i could take the bus cause they didn't call my mom too come get me or call anyone. (remember i had a pool of blood on the office floor) the went and asked the bus driver and contimplated letting me go on the bus. Fifteen minutes later they let me on. From the bus stop i stumbled home were my mom was on her day off. So we went too go get stitches.
We moved again when i was going into grade seven. I was back in harewood were in grade seven i got 63 referls in one year (thats were you fight you get one swear 5 time you get one ext.) i got 63. got kicked out of my grade seven grad ceromoney so i broke all the school windows while they partied in the gym.
In grade eight i got into alot of fights and started smoking. Seemed like a good thing too do at the time. I started too sell weed aswell. first semester goes buy and i got kicked out befor second semester started. I went too five acers. Were i finished grade 8,9,10 i got kicked out of five acers five or six times i fought alot sold alot of drugs in grade 9 my mom's husband adopted me and i finally had a legit father. I eventually stopped selling and doing dumb crap. I got back into barsby and met a girl. i dated this girl till i graduated highschool. In the summer of grade 11 too 12 my mom moved too fort st john. I moved into this girls house. Eventually i got sick of having a girlfriend i mean i dated her for 2.5 years up too this point. I wanted out of the relashinship but i need a place too live in nanaimo so i stayed with her. This one time i mouthed off her uncle and a couple months later he was in nanaimo and slapped me around then punched me. Thats when i knew i was moving too fort st john to be with my mom. I also had a group of friend threaten too kill this uncle. Not just threaten but mean it all i had too say was ok. Eventually he called and said sorry too me.
Eventually i moved too fort st john. I got a job and lived with mom. i had no friends no family (but mom and dad) no girlfriend. In my eyes i was free from the thing that entagled my vary way of living. I always procrastanated on when i was moving home. the girl i was dating got mad that i didn't come back on her scheduale so she broke up with me. I never was hurt by her action or even cared. In my eyes we broke up as soon as her uncle hit me way back in the day.
I met some people from work and started hanging out with them and they drank alot witch in turn made me want too fit in with my new friends. So i began drinking heavely. I would say 4-5 nights a week. I also began smoking a pak aday.I looked at this girls profile on the internet and it said she hated drinking and smokers. I liked this girl so i decided i would quit. My mom and dad decided too move back too nanaimo and i moved into the friends house. I went on vacation and went down with my mom and dad (too nanaimo). I met up with this girl and asked her on a date. Every day i was in nanaimo on vacation for that week and a bit i spent it with her. I asked her out with her knowing i was going back up north. She said yes and i told her my plan. I told her i will be back in one month. she never knew i was going too move back so soon. I applyed at kia nanaimo and i got a job so i moved back even sooner.
This is were i am now. Quit kia and now work for college pro. i am still with this girl and things are going great!!!
Acouple things you should know bout me
i got into alot of fights
i sold drug
stole cars
broke into houses
almost killed someone
moved too fort st john
became an alchaholic
started too smoke
fought alout in FSJ
have had a screwed up life
feel like i am someone new now
i come from a city thats broken
were people abort shipand live life for that single thing that they think is "hip"
but their hearts fall apart
like a lepper on a tred-mill
their minds change more then piggy banks
never hitting the brain breaks
they do what is cool
people want too fix the problem
but time has got them
they don't got the timewe can all talk
till we find ourselfs laying on the pavement
but
i come from a city thats broken
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
midnight thought
i woke up 15 minutes ago it is 1225 thought i would post wht i woke up thinking
why is life worth what you do with it...to make money make kids grow old and die whats so worth it. Why do we go to school graduate, go to school Gratuate. trie to get a good job and a wife make kids so they can go to school and do the same.
when i first woke up i was mad i was like i wana go to bed but relized what is worth it why do we do what we do.
i talked to some kid and he said
"its funny though... you seem like a fairly bright guy, maybe you havent had the best upbringing or life or w.e ( i dont really know and you and i probably dont want to talk about it) but you seem with it. But doesnt it sicken you how little you actually care, like you write a rhyme about it but who says youlll ever do anything
and were sposed to be above average in intelligence? Wouldnt a smarter person be more prone to do the right things, but instead we waste gas flying to fsj and get better paying jobs lmao"
i said back
but with intellegince dosn't mean it pushes out ignerence like for instance Donald Ttump makes lots of money, has a charity why to look good and make more money dose his money go into the charity of their name no and if it dose barley they fundraise... weird to me but the trump charitty should be called somthing eles but with that don't you think ppl would have the brains to instead think he is a good guy and instead of that think whoever gives is good person
is it worth even typing this is it worth paying for the internet or have a computer is anything worth anything?
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